Jennifer Hudson: I Don't Get It.

Okay...call me a hater, but I don't understand the fascination with Jennifer Hudson.

First, let me say I totally give the girl props. Everyone counted her out when she lost American Idol, but she's won damn near every award out there, she's starred in movies, and she has a hit single out.

But I just....don't....get it. Why is there all this hype about her? Yeah, she can sing, but she has like absolutely no control over her voice and when she performs it looks and sounds like she's trying to raise the dead.

And call it nitpicking, but she is tacky as hell. She has no sense of style at all. I've been watching her on TV lately, and it's like she has some kind of issue with wearing clothes that fit her properly. Her dresses are always like 5 sizes too small. I was talking to an associate about it and he's like "That whale needs to learn how to dress. If you can see where her girdle starts and stop AND her belly button through her dress, then her fat ass needs to go up a size or 10." I fell out.

She had this picture on her Myspace page a couple of months ago. I had to save it because I was THAT thrown off by it. It was captioned something like "Looking good and giving yall some style."

She has taken the picture off her profile since then... I guess she realized [or the label told her] she looked like she just broke out of Jellystone Park with a truck full of picnic baskets. Here is another picture that is no longer on her Myspace profile.

Serve it up, Huddy. As my girl Tyra would say, you are....

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEERCE. I'm scared of you!

And to cap off my total annoyance with Jennifer Hudson, it turns out her album is set to debut with over 200k copies sold. That's so ridiculous. We are in the middle of a recession. People would rather buy Jennifer's album than feed their kids and put gas in their cars? Whatinthebluefuck?

The album isn't even that good. I'm afraid to listen to it all the way through because it's so boring that it'll put me to sleep, but she's screaming so loud on it I might wake up deaf. She knows her audience though. The gay queens seem to love her. But go figure--she's a fat black woman who won an Oscar for singing in a musical, and her album is full of over the top ballads and anthems about hitting people with pocketbooks. Of course the gays love her. She could sing the alphabet and it would turn into a tranny anthem.

And speaking of her song, "Pocketbook." We all know big Jenny ain't carrying no pocketbooks. That's like Aretha Franklin rocking a two piece--take your pick between swimsuit or a meal at KFC, either way they would not provide enough for all of the woman that Aretha is. Big Huddy's the type of chick who carry's those extra large bags so if she stops to get something to eat, she can pack extras in her bag without being noticed. The song should be called "Hefty Bag."



Okay, let me get off this girl. That's the end of my Jenny rant.