....so I gots me a hag!

Alright, so I've been working this new job for a while and I've gotten to know a few of my coworkers. One in particular, who I've mentioned before--the Superhead lookalike--and I have been hanging out a lot lately. And as I've said, one night in random drunkenness I informed her that while she is beautiful, I did not want her to get the wrong impression about "us" because I had no interest in her because... I like the guys.

Ever since then we've been good buddies. But she's so funny. She's like totally fascinated with my sexuality and the way I present myself. She, like many, was under the impression that you had to be a feminine cross-dresser in size 14 pumps in order to be a homosexual. And if you didn't fit into that box, you must be one of the guys that Oprah has taught us to look out for--the DL brotha spreading AIDS to the black women. *sigh*

After she realized that I fell into neither of those categories, she's really been trying to figure me out. For some reason I think my gayness is a slight turn-on for her. Whatever the case is, we've been spending a ridiculous amount of time together since my coming out episode. Truth be told, we have a lot in common, and when she isn't talking about her favorite subject [herself], we have some pretty good discussions.

Because she is so pretty, she knows how to use her looks to her advantage. She easily manipulates the heterosexual male into doing whatever she wants. It's quite a sight to see. For the past few weeks she has been balancing about 4 guys. That number went down to 3 recently when one of her guy friends moved away to take a job where he will be making 92k a year (...shiiiiiiiiiiit. I started to do him myself.) The other 3 guys would be her roommate, who is like madly in love with her; her boyfriend, the only one of these guys she's actually having sex with; and this weird mulatto guy who just tricks off all his money on her and gets nothing in return. None of them know about each other! But they all know that we hang out so I think it's starting to raise suspicion in them.

So a couple of days ago when we got off work, we spend the rest of the day in random hag/fag bliss. First we hit up some new clothing store where she tried on clothes and I told her how bad she looked in all of it. Then went to her apartment where she showed me how psycho her roommate is. He apparently got upset because she wouldn't "talk" to him, so he broke his TV, and punched holes in the wall. Nutso. After that she decided we needed to go for a walk around the park because she had nobody to work out with.

We did that for a couple of hours, and as soon as we get ready to leave, we see her roommate driving by. He sees her with me and brings his car to a screeching halt. He backs up and nearly takes out a dog in the process.... After staring me down, my hag told him she was in the mood for Popeye's, so he told her he would get her some and he left us alone. We parted ways after I made a few WTF's about the whole thing. She says when she got home, her chicken was on her bed and he was nowhere to be found until he came home the next day...Now he thinks we are having sex. I told her to tell him I'm into guys, but he does not believe it because I "don't act like it."

The whole point in all of this is to say....WHY do we generalize EVERYTHING?!